Pilots Penis Plot Probe Released

[JW Scud]

A probe into the pilots who plotted and performed in planes to project a penis to the public on the Pacific coast has been completed. Captain Dick Long and Lieutenant Peter Shaft were reprimanded for poor professionalism but not permanently punished. Pity.

https://www.navytimes.com/news/your-nav ... sky-penis/

A CVR recording can be seen below,

“Draw a giant penis,” the EWO said. “That would be awesome.”
“What did you do on your flight?” the pilot joked. “Oh, we turned dinosaurs into sky penises.”
“You should totally try to draw a penis,” the EWO advised.
“I could definitely draw one, that would be easy,” the pilot boasted. “I could basically draw a figure eight and turn around and come back. I’m gonna go down, grab some speed and hopefully get out of the contrail layer so they’re not connected to each other.”
“Dude, that would be so funny,” the pilot said. “Airliner’s coming back on their way into Seattle, just this big (expletive)ing, giant penis. We could almost draw a vein in the middle of it too.”
“Balls are going to be a little lopsided,” the pilot advised.
“Balls are complete,” he reported moments later. “I just gotta navigate a little bit over here for the shaft.”
“Which way is the shaft going?” the EWO asked.
“The shaft will go to the left,” the pilot answered.
“It’s gonna be a wide shaft,” the EWO noted.
“I don’t wanna make it just like 3 balls,” the pilot said.
“Let’s do it,” the EWO said. “Oh, the head of that penis is going to be thick.”
“Some like Chinese weather satellite right now that’s like, ‘what the (expletive)?’” the pilot surmised.
“To get out of this, I’m gonna go like down and to the right,” the pilot said. “And we’ll come back up over the top and try to take a look at it.”
“I have a feeling the balls will have dissipated by then,” his partner answered.
“It’s possible,” the pilot said.

[Eric Janson]

Doesn't anyone have a sense of humour anymore?

Guess not.

[Colonel]

Clearly they were colluding with the Russians.  In 10 or 20 years, we will see the proof.

[Nark1]

At first I thought the CVR quotes were satire from Duffelblog or whatever the squid version is.  Nope, Navy Times. 

If I had the authority to hire at my company, should these guy want to be come three bars, I’d hire them.

People are much to sensitive today. Are they not aware these dudes help drop bombs on people, in which some cases they’re set of fire? 

Thank goodness helicopters don’t leave contrails as evidence for the unwashed masses to see.  Many invisible sky penises and pork products have been drawn over Baghdad and surrounding landscapes.

[Colonel]

[quote]People are much too sensitive today[/quote]

That's an understatement.  People are hysterically intolerant.  Notice
that they couldn't find [i]one person[/i] to host the Academy Awards?

Hello, Salem Witch Trials.

[ScudRunner-d95]

[quote author=Nark link=topic=9751.msg27885#msg27885 date=1558304681]
 

If I had the authority to hire at my company, should these guy want to be come three bars, I’d hire them.

[/quote]

Hired a guy who was the first to be laid off during the downturn here in the patch for nothing other than banging the Chief Pilots daughter, I dropped the line from Air America "what got you fired there gets you hired here!"

[Nark1]

I was doing my annual instrument eval in the hawk.
The instructor was in the back "jump seat" if you will, and started giggling like a school girl.

He tells me," hey dude, you just drew a penis!"
So I look at my bread trail on forelight, and well, it's not Ron Jeremy quality, I can certainly see it.


Last night, I "intercepted" an airliner on final.  It's a little more complicated to explain, but every once and a while, I do some cool shit using tax payer money.

[JW Scud]

https://www.foxnews.com/us/air-force-do ... icials-say Air Force dogfight exercise accidentally formed 'sky penis,' officials say