DAMN. JUST DAMN

[Colonel]

There is a difference between a simple pre-flight procedure and a lengthy
written book  that you are supposed to read, [i]in flight[/i], which is what people
hilariously refer to as a "checklist" these days.

[i]After takeoff[/i] in a twin, my article does NOT have the pilot reading a stupid
fucking thick book.  Instead, he flies the aircraft, and survives.

Failure to read a thick book [i]in flight[/i] will result in failure of a flight test.  It is
designed to distract you from flying your aircraft and obfuscate priorities.

You can't make this stupid shit up.

When you are flying an airplane, especially close to the ground and in close
proximity to other airplanes, put the book and the phone down.  Chin up. 

Look outside, and lower the nose.

Shit on me for a great height, for heresy, and please point out where in the
Aeronautics Act that the Minister is empowered to disenfranchise.

[David MacRay]

I'm going to show off my ignorance here and suggest not lowering the gear resulted in a gear up landing.

Further it's my opinion that use of flaps would change the glide angle and might have made things worse. Then again I just wistfully recall the last century when I actually flew several hours a year without a babysitter.

Get married they said, it'll be fun....

[Slick Goodlin]

[quote author=John Swallow link=topic=9504.msg26880#msg26880 date=1551281067]BTW, all those itemized things listed above...?

That's what we call a checklist.
[/quote]
[quote author=Colonel Sanders link=topic=9504.msg26881#msg26881 date=1551284579]
There is a difference between a simple pre-flight procedure and a lengthy
written book  that you are supposed to read, [i]in flight[/i]
[/quote]
That's just vagueness of language.  Most fights on the subject start because people define checklist differently in an attempt to make more sense of it all while accomplishing the opposite.  Over on the other forum you see discussions of check lists, flows, do-lists, and all sorts of other things as if they're all somehow different.  Side note: I irrationally want to choke anyone who uses the term do-list, unless that list includes the three Jessicas of the early 2000s.

I think we can all agree there's a right way to fly any given airplane.  That right way has an order to things that should or must be accomplished.  At some point, that order extends the reliable mental capacity of the person using it.  I admit there are times when I fly stupid (flying for work means I won't always be at my peak in the cockpit - not dangerous, just not 100%) and I'm glad the low-pressure but still important stuff is written down.  The threshold of where that starts is of course forever up for debate.

I have no Alpha Jet time, but I have to say I'm a little surprised the speed of the thing was in any way manageable without either landing gear or flaps down.  My gut says it should have been pretty clear that something was wrong on final but I have no small jet time.  Colonel, what's the L-39 like with gear and flaps up?  Must take a bunch of effort to slow down as if you were going to land, no?

[Colonel]

Any speedy retractable gear aircraft, be it a Mooney
or an L39, will have vastly different drag with the gear
up vs the gear down.

If I was on final with the gear up, my nominal power
setting would result in a ridiculously high airspeed.

I cannot imagine a no-flap landing in the L39.  When
you retract the takeoff flaps after takeoff, it really isn’t happy below 180 knots or so - a real sinking, back
side of the power curve feel.  In the event of dual
hydraulic failure or split flaps, I would be looking
for a really long runway.  8000, 10,000 would be
better.

[David MacRay]

I'm here to make two jokes.

1. Quit staring at the airspeed indicator land look outside.

2. Jessica Rabbit?

I know they both fail for different reasons but really I'm only here to amuse myself. Where is my emoji expansion pack? Like jester, the guy who slaps his forehead, beer drinking guy, the chicken catcher....
O0

[Slick Goodlin]

[quote author=David MacRay link=topic=9504.msg26888#msg26888 date=1551301631]
1. Quit staring at the airspeed indicator land look outside.[/quote]
If you can’t seem to slow down, you forgot your gear.
If you’re on profile but can barely see the runway over the nose, you forgot flaps.

[quote author=David MacRay link=topic=9504.msg26888#msg26888 date=1551301631]
2. Jessica Rabbit?[/quote]
Alba/Simpson/Biel.

[Nark1]

[quote]Alba/Simpson/Biel.
[/quote]

Well, ... Which one?

I'm partial to blondes, so it's Simpson for me.

[David MacRay]

All three Nark. Quit coming in in the middle.

Rabbit might have been in there as fourth if it was not specified to be this century.

My joke about the airspeed indicator is defeated because we are probably talking about hauling some serious ass here like 100 knots over, as apposed to eleven.

[Slick Goodlin]

[quote author=Nark link=topic=9504.msg26903#msg26903 date=1551321562]
Well, ... Which one?
[/quote]
Can’t...
[img]https://media.giphy.com/media/k5uvdT4SWysSI/giphy.gif[/img]

Quite...
[img]https://media.giphy.com/media/a19KhZNFBVnTG/giphy.gif[/img]

Decide.
[img]https://media.giphy.com/media/TyN0eqFz18l8c/giphy.gif[/img]

[David MacRay]

I might have just broke my eyes again from them popping out like Roger's.