Conflicts Please Advise

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The Dread Pilot Roberts
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I’d like to meet the SOB that started this bullshit with position reports.

eg. traffic advisory on 267 in the Rubber Boot area Cessna ABC level 3500 feet 10 east of the field conflict please advise.

Nah screw you I’m 10 west same altitude heading east I ain’t saying anything :roll: :roll:

Seriously Conflicts please advise needs to stop!

And for gods sake you can get a better situational awareness just listening than blabbing away and thinking you’re being safe. End rant


Slick Goodlin
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I have a theory:

“Any conflicting please advise” is dumb but “any conflicting please advise -Golf Oscar Lima Foxtrot” gives a chance at the end for other traffic to know who they’re calling and maybe isn’t the worst way to end an onerously long radio call. I suspect some flight instructor heard that once upon a time, didn’t understand why those words were tacked on the end, picked the wrong emphasis and parroted it to the rest of their students. Flight instruction being as incestual as it is, this practice was carried forward without being understood. Like a cargo cult, I guess.
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Colonel
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The VHF comm is a spectacular example of something engineered to fail. When you most need it - when there are lots of aircraft around - it will fail you. These people are just trying to make it fail sooner.

It's funny. All the comm nazis told us that "for safety" all aircraft needed to have radios to avoid collisions. What stupidity. Of course, now that all aircraft have comms, and that didn't work, the self-appointed safety nazis tell us that we all need to have ADS-B to avoid collisions.

Well, guess what fucking happened. Everyone has ADS-B and they idiots are still driving into each other. They have three iPads in the cockpit blocking the views out the window and they talk to each other right up until the moment of impact, because they don't

LOOK OUTSIDE

They tell me they don't need to look outside to avoid collisions in VMC. I am not making this up.
As God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.
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Scudrunner
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The way I say it

Traffic advisory 123.2 in the Fort St Lake Area Cessna ABC 10 miles west of the airport level 5500 transiting eastbound overhead the field, that’s traffic in the Fort St Lake Area on 123.2 it’s ABC.

That bit at the end usually perks someone up if I’m in there area to who and what I’m doing. Negating the whole conflicting traffic please advise verbal garbage.

That being said I don’t mind a simple “conflicting traffic it’s ABC on 26.7” at the end. But the conflicting traffic please advise :roll: the whole “please advise” has been messed up with trying to be polite I think.
5 out of 2 Pilots are Dyslexic.
TwinOtterFan
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Location: Onoway, AB

I have heard that a few times lately, I think its redundant. The radio call itself is for avoiding conflict.

I actually had a close call on Monday, had just departed CZVL, and was cleared into YEG's class C on my climb out, leveled out at 6500 westbound when suddenly terminal called me up to say they had an unidentified target at 6200ft unconfirmed and converging. before I could find him or do much terminal said he was under me, a second later I seen him coming out under my left wing. no radio, and no transponder and in class C airspace. I assume there is no way they will ever know who it was.
Squaretail
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My personal favorite is when you hear two guys who are on a collision course, stay on that course - but start informing each other that they are getting closer and closer. You can tell its getting serious when their voices start raising in pitch. Yet it never occurs to either of them that one of them can instantly solve the problem by changing altitude. OR direction. People use the radio like you would protect yourself on the road by driving with your hand on the horn from when you left the drive way to your parking spot at the Wal-Mart.

As per the ACTPA spreading, all it took was for one guy somewhere that when he was finished broadcasting instead of stopping talking, felt he needed to talk more, so spewed out this useless bit of radiotelephony. Pilots are very monkey see, monkey do , or in this case monkey hears, monkey says, and the rest is history. As an example of this I recall one day someone on 126.7 decided that October was a better O than Oscar, and used it for all his transmissions. EVERY other pilot changed to follow suit. Some of those included a STARS pilot and one guy I knew who flew for Westjet. While there exists the possibility some were joking, I have my doubts.

Other word viruses I have found besides ACTPA are the words "currently" and "presently", a need to list in detail the air exercises one is going to perform in the next hour, the need to make a position report at every segment of the circuit or taxiway. The absolute best was a lady - flying an ASTAR no less - who decided that she needed to make position reports every five minutes, on the minute from Save Lake to Lac Labiche. I think her German accent had something to do with it. Those guys like rules to follow, the more the better.
The details of my life are quite inconsequential...
TwinOtterFan
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You fly around here Square? I just flew to Slave Lake the other day. I was thrown off a little by the maintenance crew answering the radio lol.

It was my first time their. Was not expecting a runway basically in the middle of town.
Squaretail
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TwinOtterFan wrote:
Wed Apr 26, 2023 5:22 pm
You fly around here Square? I just flew to Slave Lake the other day. I was thrown off a little by the maintenance crew answering the radio lol.

It was my first time their. Was not expecting a runway basically in the middle of town.
I fly many places, though it feels like I should buy a house in Slave Lake. Most of the uncontrolled airports will have maintenance crews on the radio if they are driving around airside. Most of them are good at getting out of the way by the time you land if you called inbound.
The details of my life are quite inconsequential...
mcrit
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I miss the days when I was learning to fly and 126.7 was quiet. Every once in a while you’d hear someone asking FSS for wx or to update a flt plan. People used their eyes to avoid a collision.
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Colonel
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PS turning to avoid a collision is two dimensional thinking and might just kill you.

It doesn’t really do much at first except increase your cross-sectional area and increase the likelihood of collision.

ATC separates aircraft with altitude and so should you. Personally I prefer to not fight the Big Planet. Instead I let it help me. Wings level -5G has kept me alive in the past and if you are below the other guy you can instantly see him against the sky above you instead of buried in the ground clutter.

If you feel you absolutely must turn to avoid a collision, I would continue the roll to wings level inverted and with power off, put your feet on the dash and pull as hard as you can with both hands to ultimate G in the inside half loop downwards. No one will follow you through a split-S.
As God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.
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